Since the birth of our 3rd beautiful child back in November, I'm finding more and more that motherhood is a lot like the game Jenga. Sometimes on the edge of your seat fun, lots of on the edge of you seat smiles and laughter, but more often you are on the edge of your seat waiting for disaster, that situation that will test your patience or challenge your instincts. Motherhood, and it's ups and downs testing your emotional stability, is a ride like no other. And with one wrong move the entire somewhat stable stack can come crashing down: my 3 year old beautiful but ever so independent little girl Sophia, testing her limits...and mine,my 5 year old energetic very smart son George, having a breakdown because he can't find his favorite train or our newborn son, John, a very happy baby, having a miserable spell from severe reflux that has pegged him since birth. These can happen separately or more often, as you know, all together.
Staying home with the kids is everything like I imagined and nothing like I imagined. I enjoy being here seeing them grow, watching the develop into their own being and sure, I expected challenges but I never expected the challenge to be how I handled the day and how I handled the emotional ride. In the workforce, our worth as employees was immediate and easily seen. Did I meet sales ? Did I get a raise or a good review from the boss? Something like that. But as mothers the reward really has to come from within and often that is hard to find. I am finding that holding it together, whether talking about my sanity or the day, has become like a circus act. And that I have to find the time to find myself and free myself from the unpredictability that having 3 kids under the age of 6 often comes with. I have to find time to relax and breathe. It's easy to take their emotions as your own, but the challenge to keep yourself together, heading in the right direction and with both feet on the ground is often the thing I struggle with the most.
My dad often says that any day you wake up and can put your feet on the ground it's a great day. And I often add to that, any day you can wake up, get your workout in and coffee in peace is an even better one. And any day, you can avoid a disaster is the best. Join me on my honest, no frills journey into the depths of motherhood and beyond.