I went against my intuition today and took my 3 kids to the store.
As I was walking down the steps of our house, I swear a little voice whispered to me "Go back!Save yourself now and Go back!" but I forged on anyway, determined to get what I needed and come back in one piece, with all my hair and normal blood pressure.
I must have been expecting a miracle. I noticed this flaw the minute I entered Dicks Sporting goods, as my 3 year old Sophia, started taking shoes off the rack and yelling, more like demanding. that she wanted me to buy her something special. As we descended down the aisles and past the bikes, big mistake, each of my children found the bike they wanted, got on and attempted to ride them, in the store. This is probably when I should have given up and gone home but I was again, determined, against my better judgement to finish shopping. As I roamed the aisles in search of what I came for, my kids took down a rack of golf ball bags on display. But there they were, the Phillies hats, my final destination was in my reach. I couldn't turn back now, as I quickly tried to find the correct size, my son found the death trap of all parents trying to get out of the store with a major disaster, the bin of bouncy balls. He descended on them as if he was a vulture and it was his prey and of course, Sophia followed as about a half dozen balls went every where.
Just about at my whits end, I turned to them, bent over and sternly but calmly said, "If you continue not to listen to me, we will go home and you will go straight to your rooms for the rest of the night!" They straightened up, battle won, or so I thought. And then what came out of my son's mouth not only embarrassed me but sent me into a full on sweat. He replied, "And what? you're going to beat me?" I started with nervous laughter and continued looking at the hats as I felt the entire store stop what they were doing and stare in my direction. I swear even the announcements over the loud speaker paused.
There was dead silence.
I didn't know what to do next or say so we went to the register, paid and was on our way.
Home you ask? Of course not, I was asking for torture. On to our next destination.
Tomorrow we are going to my parents to celebrate Father's Day and I am making a cake. My father's favorite, Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting and Chocolate Glaze. My husband works long hours and possibly won't be home until 8:00pm. And we had to leave the house at 9:00am. I had to get my list done. I was a woman on a mission. As we dodged the cars in the street who don't give you a chance to walk across, I put the kids in their seats and gave them the ultimate warning "If you continue to act up in Wegmans. You will get nothing. And I will tell your father!"
So there. And believe it or not it worked.
Most of my shopping trip at Wegmans went down without disaster. We got the ingredients for the cake, dinner, and almost everything on my list. But then we got to the line, which we were only behind one person and my little devils, decided it was time to show their true colors. Sophia and George started laying on the floor, begging for M&M's. And then they started fighting, punching each other in the back. My repeated commands to stop did no good. That was until some really nice girls, who looked to be in there 20's got behind me in line and were the comedy act that I so needed. Although it seemed like they just finished a early happy hour at the local restaurant, they gave me a much needed laugh. I looked at the motley crew in front of me and the drunk happy hour girls behind me and decided to laugh at my kids with the drunk crew behind me. One talking so loud and slurring her words, but funny to say the least and pretty nice, commenting on how cute the kids were and joking about how even though we thought John was going to be the clam one maybe he was secretly taking it all in and getting ready to stir up trouble. And then as we paid and were on our way off they even told the kids to listen to their mom.
Too bad that didn't work.
As I started pushing the cart out of the Wegmans, I was relieved to be leaving the store hoping his day was going to get a little better. After all, it was almost over.
So to make a long story short, my husband got home early. The neighbor, who is in his 70's, brought over his friend to introduce to us and as he was introducing the kids, my 5 year old, George shoulder checked them both in the groin. While we are busy talking, I burned dinner. George runs over the baby with an empty box on his foot, and I look over and Sophia is plugging the baby's nose.
Needless, to say, It's 6:30 and everyone is in their rooms.
Always listen to your intuition, especially when it comes to leaving the house with the kids.