SAHM seeks PCD (Play Date Companion)

(This is a revised version of post I wrote in May but with the summer months here and play dates in full swing. I was hoping it would spark some comments.)

I feel like I am sneaking in a post as type quickly, hurrying to get my thoughts out before they are abruptly interrupted with a scream or a cry.

I'm on a race with the clock.

It is 7:30 in the morning and surprisingly enough, all the kids, including the baby, are fast asleep. You could hear a pin drop and I can actually finish a thought. As you know, a quiet house can't be taken for granted or ignored, it's usually the calm before the storm.

It's almost the end of July and I can't believe my son has already complete his first year in elementary school. Next year he will be a big Kindergartner, attending school all day. With summer in full swing and the long list of possible activities to embark upon, begins a line up of play dates with old friends and new and what I like to call, the "Play Date Dating Game".

I have had my luck with "mom" friends, but getting a new PCD (play date companion) for you and your kids can be nerve wrecking. And I often feel like a contestant in a "Speed Dating" event. Within a matter of seconds of seeing a new mom and her child,the sizing up beings and if you're not a match, they quickly move on.
But what are you supposed to expect? Friendship or just someone to go on play dates with?

It's nice to get a play date where not only your kids are having fun but you do too. We don't have to be best friends, but having someone with similar interests, that you can relate to and carry on a conversation with is a big plus. For the most part, the kids always get along, but a bad play date between moms can often feel like a bad date, forced and complicated, with uneasy breaks in conversation and uncomfortable silences because when it comes down to it, it's not just about the kids, it's about the moms too. Much like a date, it's especially about the approach, who is going to be the first to bring up the play date discussion, similar to first date jitters, you really have to step out on a limb, be the first to make a move and set yourself and your kids up for rejection. And after the exchange of phone numbers, and first call, it often feels like the luck of the draw, you never know what you are going to get.


And I'm afraid of rejection.

What if I'm just not that mother's cup of tea? After all, I'm not just the plain blend, neither are my children.

We come with a little sweetness and spice, shall we say an exotic blend, and we are much like the traveling side show act. At any time, my son can scream in laughter or cry that he is too hot, my daughter can talk off another mother's ear with repeated questions about the contents of her refrigerator or why she choose that color carpet, and my son can puke on said carpet then crawl over and try to eat your door stop.

Maybe we just have to take play dates for what they're worth, great experiences for my children to develop and grow socially. I'll jump at any chance not to have to entertain the kids and get in a little adult conversation.

And if a new mom friend comes along with it , I'll just take it as an added bonus.

Maybe I should take out an ad:

SAHM seeking PCD

Energetic, outgoing, friendly, married, suburban,

African American Stay-At-Home Mother of 3 beautiful, crazy and chaotic 

interracial children seeks another mother for play dates and possible friendship.

Ethnic background not important.

Must be outgoing, flexible and spontaneous, able to experience

new things with toddler in tow. Be willing to share

motherhood experiences similar but not limited to potty

training, temper tantrums, and sibling rivalry.

Friendship not necessary, but is a welcomed

bonus. Weekly play dates preferred but

not necessary and can be rescheduled and canceled

due to necessary parenting, family mishaps, not limited to

weather, sickness, flat tires, temper tantrums, or just plain
old mommy tiredness. Most important just be willing to
have a great time, leaving the
competitive, petty BS at home.

 

Join me on Thursday: Play date etiquette for moms.