Nervously, yet naively laughing in the face of the maternity nurse as she wrote 35 in big red ink on the top of my folder at my first appointment during my third pregnancy has now come to bite me in the butt. Big time.
With each of my pregnancies, I gained weight faster than you could blink, 45 lbs plus with each baby, but within a year, all the weight as gone, most of it gone within just a couple months. So with this third pregnancy, when I gained 10lbs the minute I looked at the test stick for confirmation, and another forty pounds nine months following, I still thought, sure it'll be tough, but no problem. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
This baby and this pregnancy has done it's damage.
I have fat in places I didn't know it existed, and stretch marks in places I didn't know it stretched. I recently went to Old Navy and stepped into the dressing room to try some items on, maybe that was my first mistake, and just about had a breakdown. As I was looking in the mirror, a full frontal standing under bright commercial lights, a never if you are just 6 months out after having baby number three, I jumped, gasped and quickly looked behind me hoping there was some semi-fat version of myself standing behind me playing tricks. I can't imagine this was what Sir Mix-A-lot was talking about when he declared he liked big butts.
And then I turned sideways, thought it would be better if I stood up straight, backed up, did a circle and looked from behind. UGH! This was not happening to me, I'm a finely tuned athlete. I had abs of steel, a rock hard behind and toned muscles. Or at least that's what I had before baby number three, now my body was just a shadow of what I looked liked pregnant.
Will someone please tell my butt, thighs and midsection that there is no longer a baby on board! Time to deflate!
Granted I have lost 36 lbs, but I've got 20 stubborn more lbs to go that I refuse to carry into 2011. Twenty pounds that I refuse to carry into October, as this is the month that my High School State Championship Swim Team is being inducted in to the North Penn High School Sports Hall of Fame and there is nothing like walking into your old High School, 17 years later and the same amount heavier.
Not going to happen.
So as I trade, pancakes for eggs whites, sandwiches for salads, pretzels for peanuts and nice chocolate deserts for small, very small cups of sugar free jello, I grunt and sweat and jump. I remember the number on the scale that morning and I push harder. I refuse to be a victim to this extra weight and these extra inches weighing me down. And I feel a little bit like Bridget Jones, only if she were a married stay at home mom, after her third pregnancy, minus the cigarettes and the alcohol.
Today at 5'9" *cough* okay, 5'8 1/2": 168lbs
Goal by my birthday July 31st: 159lbs.
Goal by October 148.