Thursday, September 2, 2010

Thursday Thirteen: Does this baby make my butt look big?

My shop is closed, shut down and out of service. Any sperm waiting to make a baby with my eggs will be severely disappointed. . Three is a good number, so I had my tubes tied. I  begged my ob/gyn to just take out my uterus, but he said it didn't work that way.

Well, it should.

And to be honest, I loved being pregnant, having the feeling that something special was going on inside of my huge belly, it was just the fact that my butt kept getting bigger and bigger. And now that I'm shut down, I know so many people having babies and even twins, I kinda wish that maybe I didn't close shop so fast. But I am 36 and for me, along with the 3 kids, it was a good time to stop. I've had the little clan that can drive me crazy, and give me all the love and laughter I didn't know was possible. So for my Thursday Thirteen, along with some help from my pregnant friend to remind me, I thought I'd revisit being pregnant. Here are my top 13 things I didn't like about being pregnant:

13. Being fat. My butt was so big, Sir Mix a lot could have sung my theme song. One time, my own father joked, while I was pregnant, that "I had the mouth of a trucker and the butt of a Truck", which sent him into hysterical laughter. Thanks Dad!

12. My old body. It's funny how we take our bodies for granted. I'd love have the butt hips and thighs I had 10 years ago, even 5 years ago, heck, 3 years ago...but I will get back there.

11. Hormonal outbreaks. Crying at one minute, laughing at the next, my husband was probably afraid to say anything to me. I think one time a simple, Hi when he walked in the door led to a total breakdown...oh wait, that was yesterday, never mind.

10. Groin pain. Nothing like walking around or standing too long and feeling a sharp pain right in your groin.

9. Cute Clothes. Lets face it. Maternity clothes are Maternity clothes, Moo-Moos in disguise.And trust me, lace and a big fat ribbon around the mid section do not make it cute.

8. Energy. I loved going and going and going and then going some more. But when I was pregnant, especially with my third, I was totally wasted, I would think of all the energy I had and cry. I have a friend, who will remain anonymous, who paid her son to let her take a nap. Do you blame her? Why didn't I think of that.

7. Back Labor. I thought I had just thrown my back out, that was until my water broke all over the couch at my parents house. 

6. The entire first trimester. Dizziness, nausea, vomiting. The greatest gift on earth makes you feel the sickest. How ironic. According to my one good very dear friend, who is pregnant with her second,  if you ask her about the first 18 weeks of her pregnancy, you will "run, screaming like a school girl for you life".

5.Loss of  bladder control, no fun peeing and laughing at the same time.

4. The pregnancy waddle, a baby in one end, hemorrhoids in the other always makes for a pleasant stroll down the street or around the mall.

3. Towards the end I felt like I was carrying a bowling ball between my legs. That's always pleasant. 

2. The feeling that your uterus and the baby may just literally drop out of your body at any given time.

1. Stubborn Baby weight. Lets face it, at least with me, baby weight got more stubborn after each baby. Now that I've had my third, it's finally budging but it's not easy. The Duggar mom not only has a super uterus but a super bladder and super baby weight fighting genes too. Because if I had 19 kids, I'd be a fat ass.

What did you least like about being pregnant?


  1. Funny post, really took me back there. I'm sort of at that stage when I'm starting to think about whether I'll go again (got two so far) and it's the thought of pregnancy that's off-putting even though mine weren't so bad on the whole. But that groin pain...aargh!

    Pay your son to take a nap? Good idea. If we could pay hubby to carry the baby and the weight, even better!

  2. The acne! I broke out like 13 year old boy. I wish the stork would just bring the babies. I also wish that they would come sleep trained.

  3. Cute post. I hated that last month. I was so swollen, my stomach was all up on the dang steering wheel of our little, bitty Toyota. Also, whenever I rolled over in the bed, I felt like I was lifting and shifting a couple 20 lb sacks of Idaho potatoes. :-D

  4. nah---everything else grows and balances the butt out... unfortunately.

  5. the last 4 are reminding me of my own reasons for not having babies. eek. i'd prob walk around holding my crotch up! lol

    happy tt!

  6. don't worry, you will forget all of this when they turn teenagers and you get a whole new set of things to worry about! Have a great day.

  7. I always thought the fat ribbons made something that might have been all right into something hideous. As much as I could, I wore over sized, non-maternity clothes. Worked well.

  8. Maybe that's why I saw a woman walking holding her crotch the other day!

  9. I loved being pregnant, but then I only went twice. Since both of my babes were born in the summer in Texas, I think the most miserable thing was feeling hot all of the time. People don't equate pregnancy to a "bun in the oven" for nothing! Oh yeah, and let's not forget the stretch marks.

  10. Ha! Being paranoid that everything that went into my mouth or that I came in contact with, would somehow damage my unborn child!

  11. I guess I didn't appreciate the shape my body used to be in! I so relate to these.

  12. other people policing my every move - should you be eating that? Isn't peanut butter bad for the baby?

    and people, especially strangers, touching my belly - hello! yuck! no touch!

  13. I'm ready to do it again!! It's a great excuse to weigh a few extra pounds... plus I love the end result!

    Popping in from SITS!

  14. i most relate to the icky first trimester and the energy. i am usually very go get them but when pregnant, i was this complete hermit that was sooo needy!!! i love being me again and i love my baby being outside of me! i want more kids but i just don't want to be pregnant that bad?


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