Bon Bons and Dirty Diapers

Yes. I am a stay-at-home mom.



I hate when people ask me what I do all day, as if to imply I sit around eating bon-bons, painting my nails and catching up on my latest soap opera.



I wish.



When I express I have trouble running errands or getting stuff done, they look at me confused as if to wonder what I do with all that "down" time I supposedly have. The way they express, my house should be spic and span. I should make my kids clothes, and I should have a 3 course dinners on the table for my husband every night when he gets home. They think my life should be like a chapter from that old show, the one I can't think of the name right now, where the housewife parades around in beautiful dresses, looking like she barely lifted a finger, yet everything is clean, in order and in place, including the kids and the house smells like chocolate chip cookies and she did it all herself.



Well, reality check.



My kids aren't at the age where they go to school all day, they wreck the place. Once you get one spot cleaned they follow behind you like a wrecking ball, and you start back with square one.



Being a stay -at-home mom is giving up your right to go to the bathroom with full privacy, ever. You give up your desire to complete thoughts, make lists and have adult conversations in one sitting. And oh, sitting, there is no sitting, by the time your butt hits the chair someone needs a drink, the baby needs a bottle, one of his 11 doses of meds to control his reflux, a fight needs to be broken up or someone needs their butt wiped....yes, their butt wiped. And believe it or not, hearing them ask for help wiping their butt is just a relief that number 2 happened in the potty and not in some other unmentionable place.



Being a stay-at-home mom means you always have someone attached to your leg, your arms or your every thought. It means going to the grocery store, the post office or a doctors visit with a traveling circus. The minute you enter these places you should come complete with orange warning cones and back up lights. It means you are happy to leave places without your kids having broken something, knocked something over or caused such a ruckus that people stare, you break out in a sweat and you threaten to return them to the refund counter at whatever store you are frequenting because they not only take back food and other items people don't want, they take back unruly kids too.



Being a stay-at-home mom means you don't get to go anywhere on time, unless by a sudden miracle. You don't get to go anywhere clean, unless you wrap yourself in saran wrap and take it off after locking the door and it means once you think you have a quite moment to begin that "down" time everyone talks about...disaster ALWAYS strikes.



Being a stay-at-home mom means giving up parts of your life, your thoughts an your privacy for theirs. And mom isn't the only title you wear, you're also a nurse, a cook, a referee, a psychologist, and engineer, a babysitter, a playmate, a teacher and a detective among other things.



But being a stay-at-home mom means I don't miss a temper tantrum, curse word or bad thing that my child does. But it also means that I get to catch all the good stuff too. I can tell you how Sophia doesn't like to sleep with socks on, George hates when his foods mix and the baby loves it when you kiss his neck over and over and over again. I don't miss a smile, a coo or a laugh. I don't miss my son spelling his first word, my daughter peeing on the potty or our 5 month old finally realizing he has hands and how looking at them, touching them and watching them move can entertain him for hours.

I didn't become a stay-at-home mom because I didn't want to go to work.

Staying home is more work than I ever imagined. I became a stay-at-home mom because I wanted to witness their growth, watch their achievements and help them over their hurdles. I wanted to see their face when they accomplish new tasks.

And I wanted them to know that whatever they needed I would always be there.

Family Fun Thurdays

Even though we know it should be a year long celebration Sunday is officially Mother's Day!! And if you are looking for something to do, here's a great list just for you.

1. I know I often add the Garden State Discovery Museum but they always have great events going on all year round. This great South Jersey destination for family fun is just about 20 minutes over the Ben Franklin Bridge, so not bad for you Philadelphians either. On Saturday and Sunday from 12pm to 2pm celebrate mother's day at the museum during their Teddy Bear Tea Party featuring songs, stories and cookie decorating. On Saturday, join Rosie Hymerling for some "beary" special crafts! This weekend....Mother's get in FREE!

2. I know this really isn't a Mother's Day event, but this would be a great outing for a family with a train enthusiast like mine.And it would make my Mother's Day to see the smile on my son's face. My son is addicted to trains to say the least. Celebrate National Train Day at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia Saturday from 11am to 4pm, complete with train exhibits, Live musical performances, games, face painters, giveaways and more. And to top off the excitement of any young train enthusiasts, their will be special appearances by Amtrack conductors and engineers. This entire event is FREE!! And to make it extra special, instead of driving, you could take the train into 30th street station. If you don't live near 30th street, this event is going on around the country at train stations near you, click the link above for schedules and more information.

3. Okay, back to Mother's Day..If you live in, around or near North Wales Pa, here's one for you. The Young Chefs Academy of North Wales is holding a special Mother's Day workshop.
Saturday from 2:30 to 4:30 Mom's and grandmother's can spend time creating memories, cooking and crafting. Each team will create three recipes and get a keepsake apron and edible flower!! And my favorite part of this event is that you can make a mess in the kitchen and you don't have to clean up afterwards!! Gotta Love it!

4. We love Johnson's Farm and this looks like a cute thing to do on a beautiful day!! Enjoy a parent and child garden planting lesson and hayride! Saturdays and Sundays the hayrides take place every hour! They also have a great outdoor play place for the kids, if you are looking to burn some of that extra energy to guarantee nap time!! Didn't by Mom any gifts yet? No worry! Treat her to the homemade goodies and gifts, anything from fudge, candies, flowers and plants!
And this weekend, Mother's receive a free hay ride and half off an ice cream cone!

5. All I can say about this next one is YUM!! No matter where you live this place is definitely worth the ride, the wait and the food. The Pop Shop is holding a special Mother's Day Brunch! On Sunday at 9:00am, 11:00am and 1:30 pm they will be holding a buffet style brunch, with 2 separate buffets...one for the adults and one for the kids.. and finish off this delish meal with a chocolate desert! Advance registration is required!! Click on the website for more information!

And remember, if you can't make it to these events, never under estimate the power of giving mom the day off. Let her take a good nap, eat breakfast in bed uninterrupted, and not have to change diapers, break up fights, pick up toys or prepare meals for the day! Mother's Day doesn't have to be about expensive gifts and jewelry, but just a break from the norm and showing her how much you appreciate her is really worth more than you can understand.

What dreams may come

My husband's sport to play, watch and breathe is baseball.

He played baseball throughout his school years and even now plays on a Sunday Softball League. So when our 5 year old was finally old enough to be signed up for t-ball, you could only imagine my husband's excitement. And when it came time to hand out uniforms, it warmed my heart to hear him say, "I want to be number 5 like daddy". Upon sensing George's excitement to play, my husband enthusiastically signed up to volunteer, and who could imagine,not even himself, that he'd end up being the head coach. He researched drills and coaching practices found on blogs ironically titled, Pray for Rain.

When George, being the youngest 5 year old on the team, took to the grass for his first practice, his age became apparent, swinging the bat like it was a lead weight and running after balls like it was a game of tackle football. And when he took to the field in his first game, what became apparent was his....sense of humor. He burped and joked to the other kids on the bench. His zig-zag run to the bases became a dance of shuffling dirt. The outfield was his own personal sandbox. And his turn up at bat was more like he took stage and the spotlight was on him. While one of the coaches was giving him pointers and trying to get him to look at the ball, showing him the correct way to hold the bat, his head was turned in the other direction, yelling jokes to his teammates on the bench.

He loved every second of it. And isn't that the point?

Where we look at sports as a way to nurture dreams, maybe the message is just that, let your kids be kids.

I swam my entire life from the age of 4 until I graduated college. Swimming was and is in my blood. I wanted to be an Olympian and break multiple world records. The walls of my room were adorned with pictures of Mary T, The Albatrosse, and pages I'd update with goal times above my bed, as if the success would come to me in my sleep. Even though I had a couple failed attempts at making the Olympics, I was successful. Swimming took me around the world, provided me with a great education to one of the best schools in the country and provided me with many experiences I carry with me today.

Swimming shaped me into whom I am, as a friend, a wife and a mother.

My dad always recounts my start in swimming, at the age of 5, the same age my son is now, walking down to the pool in the apartment complex so I could learn to swim from the life guard who had "taken me under her wing".

30 years later,I still remember her face.

He also recounts with vivid description and expressions I'll never forget, my first experience with earning ribbons and winning and losing. He says throughout my swimming career, especially early on, I was in the moment, enjoying life and enjoying swimming. And he's right. I can't recount a lot of the experiences I had in swimming, I remember making great friends, traveling to beautiful places and setting goals. I remember the successes and of course the let downs, but the emotion I get from remembering swimming is as clear as day.

I remember the feeling you get on a Saturday morning, when the air is just right, entering the cool water on the first warm up for a weekend meet.

I remember the smell of chlorine that often hung with me through out the day.

I remember what it felt like to achieve my goals, what it felt like to have dreams to chase and what it felt like to be involved. I lived and breathed swimming.

I never remember my parents pressuring me. Of course, when I realized swimming was something I wanted to do they encouraged me to stay committed and involved. But I never remember feeling like it was something I HAD to do, it was something I WANTED to do.

They nurtured MY dreams they didn't create them for me. They didn't base MY dreams off their own.

Maybe that's the key.

When your 5 year old takes the field in a t-ball game, erase images of future Ryan Howards and Shane Victorino's and remember that it is exactly that, your 5 year old taking the field in a t-ball game.

What's baseball today, may be 7 card Poker tomorrow.

Watch your kids grow and develop.

Watch their interests change, their humorous side come out, introduce them to new things and let them become their own being.

And watch what dreams may come.