Sleep Deprived Saturday

I am sleep deprived.

Thanks to my super son John who is 8 months old today, I am sleep deprived.

For the last two weeks, like clock work, he has been waking up at 3:00 in the morning. Something goes off in his little baby brain that says, time to wake up mommy, mommy who is enjoying her sleep, mommy who is exhausted from being up with me in the wee early mornings before. And every day at 3:00 when my alarm (the baby) goes off, I look over at the clock, the real clock and curse it. Then I look over at my alarm clock, who has now pulled to a stand in the crib and is starring at me with the droopy, sleepy baby eyes and I try to talk some sense into this little being. This little being who has decided that testing his lungs and moaning and groaning for my attention, at 3 in the morning has become his new ritual.

"Don't you know it's 3:00 in the morning?" I say.
And he looks at me, pouts and stares with those pick-me-up eyes.
"Mommy loves you but its time to go back to sleep. I'm tired. You look tired. We can play in the morning."

I speak to him calmly and quietly like he is understanding me. Hoping my every word will soothe him back to sleep. I gently lay him back down, rub his back and then I turn over, hoping if he doesn't see my face, he will calm down. I cross my fingers and toes. I barely breathe. And I hold still in quiet desperation praying that he will fall back asleep.

Yes, he is still in our room.

The bassinet that you use to put your new baby in and keep him close to you at night, to make him easier to feed and to make sure he is okay, breathing and to calm all the other paranoia's of having a newborn baby, has now become a full size crib. My son has had a lot of trouble with severe reflux which finally seems, through medication, to be under control, but we still have him in our room. Waking up startled, more times than we can remember as we rushed to the bassinet as John was choking and gasping for air from reflux, can leave you slightly terrified to let him sleep alone in his room. So his room awaits, a little longer.

Baby on a mission, 3:00am play time.

John's sleeping through the night, has become waking up at this witching hour. Sometimes hungry and most of the times ready to play. At first, I try and ignore him hoping he will realize there is nothing going on, no big brother to watch and no big sister to laugh at, and fall back asleep. This works some times, but most of the times his unsettled whimpers become screams of desperation for attention and I sleepily take him out of bed to avoid waking up the kids and my husband who could sleep through a tornado, a fire and evidently crying babies.

In my sleep dazed state, I drag myself downstairs for some quality time, in the wee hours of the morning, that my infant son evidently feels we need. I feed him a bottle and he smiles. I try to rock him to sleep and his twists, turns, smiles and motions to get off my lap to explore, to crawl, to play and smiles and sticks out his tongue.

While he decides to get up and play, and feels like he is missing something, my sleep awaits, dreams of laying my head on my soft pillow and drifting off to meet the sand man, wait. I know this stage of sleep deprivation doesn't last forever. But trust me, I won't miss it when its gone.

Here's to another sleep deprived Saturday!

Are you a sleep deprived mom? Leave your comment below and a link to your blog, all sleep deprived moms unite!