1. To the Mr. Softee Truck: FLIP OFF. There is absolutely no reason you should ever be driving down my street at 9:30pm with the music on, unless it is Friday night and you are serving up margaritas! There is every reason I should have gone into my fridge and chased you down the street throwing eggs at your truck. I know it's summer, but at least limit your invasion into my neighborhood when it's light outside.
2 and 3. To the makers of the Binky: FLIP OFF. Binkies are like baby/toddler crack. Kids become addicted to them, it should come with a warning label, "The sucking motion of this binky is highly addictive. Weaning the child off the binky should start promptly the day after you give it to them because for some of them, it will take that long. Breaking them of the binky habit may include, but not limited to, excessive crying, loud screaming and sleepless nights for your child and you. Use this product at your own risk". Then maybe I should FLIP OFF myself. She was off the binky during day times and only using it at night times by 18months and then well, I became pregnant and lazy, so today, at 3 and a couple months, it was her first nap without the binky. I'm surprised no one called the cops with the way she screamed bloody murder in her bed for 20 minutes. Tonight is going to wonderful.
4. To Some of the Politicians of the State of New Jersey (I know this is risky and will put me on some type of "list" but...): Flip Off: First, you take away school funding and then you propose to close the libraries of the city of Camden. I don't live in the city of Camden but I could not imagine this would be a good thing, ever. Taking away free Internet access,free access to information and free books for people to read and become educated, is never a good thing. Talk about taking away all resources for people to succeed. You might as well increase funding to the jails because that's where some of these youngsters will now end up.
5. To Summer: FLIP OFF. I'm done with you and so are my kids. I'd appreciate that you end now, and school start before my kids can't stand me anymore. We are out of things to do and we crave the structure and predictability of school days.
Ahhh...much better. Let the weekend begin. Thanks Kludgy Mom!
Really? Mr. Softee at 9:30 p.m.? You are so right. They need to be serving adult frosty beverages!!
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the binky. My son had his right up until his 3rd birthday...it was a hard transition. I was so grateful that kid #2 had no interest in the binky.
And yes...bring ON the fall. I'm done.
Oh the paci's. Such a double edged sword huh? My son just turned TWO and I swear the way he acts about them I'm starting to think the paci makers lace them with something. And he can't just have one. He needs two (or now four since this is his new word) one to suck and the others to hold and RUB on his face. Ugh!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy son is 7 and half months old and still using his binky, but wana get rid of it by the time he turns 1. I think i might be flipping off binkies myself sometime between then and now...
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is onto the binkies. I was flabbergasted to see a $14 one on a baby shower registry. Apparently, it has a protective covering that automatically snaps over the nipple in the event that the binkie is dropped on the ground. When we got around to weaning my daughter off of hers, she would crawl in bed and ask to take a nap just to get the binkie. You're right: it is like crack! I'll be praying for your sanity as you transition through this most difficult time. I'm confident that Sophia will be able to do without it one day-hopefully sooner than you think. -EW
ReplyDeleteThe binky is bad, but gotta tell ya-- much better than the fingers. I could take little man's away, but can't remove pokey's fingers. It's a serious dilemma. Not sayin it wasn't a hellish week. Hang in there. It'll get better.
ReplyDeleteHahaha your flips are so awesome especially the binky one and that Mr. Softee? Uh wow yeah I'm with you unless they serve adult drinks than it's fine :D Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteI too am done with summer. It's funny you are starting to see more and more parents and kids arguing out in public. You can tell they are all just sick of each other at this point. Bring on school!
ReplyDeleteAnd at the moment I love the binky. Come see me in about 6 months and it will be my enemy :)
"Binkies are like baby/toddler crack. "
ReplyDeleteOh. Em. Gee. I just spit up coffee. That was probably the funniest line I've read all week! You are hilarious, Danielle! But it's true. Binkies are crack and Babies R Us is the pusher!
I flipped off a politician in Florida this week too...must be that time of year!
ReplyDeleteI agree about Mr. Softee, if he is to be lurking around that late with his music going he better have some margarita's stored in there!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not looking forward to weaning my son off of his paci. Oh boy!
I'm so with you on the binky flip-off! I am still trying hard to get my two year old to give his up, but it is SO hard on ME!!
ReplyDeleteAll good flip-offs. Thanks for sharing!
9:30 at night for an icecream driver seems a little pervy... watch out for that guy!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. Love your Friday Flip Offs...especially the one about binkies being baby crack. I LOL'd on that one. So true! Luckily, my daughter threw hers down at 4 months and never picked it up again. But my grandson had his until he was like 3. Oy! So she has refused to give my new granddaughter one.
ReplyDeleteLady, I love the things you flipped off about, especially the ice cream truck. And can I just say how clever an idea it is to have the damn thing serving up alcoholic beverages that late at night. I think you're onto something!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Kendra - call Chris the Dateline Guy!
ReplyDelete*ducking out now before any of those jersey politicians figure out i'm associated with you
;p
An ice cream truck at 9.30pm? That's just wrong! And really not fair on the kids or the parents! I love the idea of them serving adult beverages at that time though :D
ReplyDelete