Friday, January 28, 2011

Fever, Coughs and Snot. Oh My!

As I saw my 14 month old, who happens to have a double ear infection, a nasty cough and the crustiest nose know to man, lean over to grab my older son's cup, it was like slow motion. I lunged to stop him but his little arms and short distance to his mouth proved to be a faster sprint then I could muster up. I shouted, a muffled, movie-like slow motion"NOOOOOO!" But it was too late, I literally saw the transfer of germs and broke out into a could sweat and what flashed in front of me, was not pretty, my fate had been handed to me like a knife in the back, multiple trips to the doctor, tissues, medicine, snot, wet coughs and germs everywhere.

Not to sound like a cold hearted bitch of a mom, but I am not good with sick kids. Snot that drips down to the upper lip and is sucked in through the mouth makes me want to gag. Wet stains on my clothes from body secretions that have been smeared by little hands makes me want to cringe. Little sick hands that extend in the air, in your direction and want to be picked up and loved upon are like a two faced double sword. On one hand so cute you want to smoother them with kisses, sympathy and nurse like concern, on the other hand words like virus, contagious and infection are written all over them and I'd rather, put them in a little bubble until they are better. Besides, nothing like leaning over the pharmacy desk to sign the credit slip as you pick up your child's medicine, pen in one hand and pocket book one shoulder, while you perform a balancing act that may as well be like a trapeze artist on a tight rope. There is one kid sitting on the floor at your feet, complaining they want to go home, the other wiping snot on your pant leg as they hang on for dear life, while the child you are balancing on the other hip, leans over and sprays you in the face with a nice wet cough, and sneeze. You've just been slimed, germs everywhere.

So while you are out and about, playing with your children in the snow or dropping them off at school, I will be in my contaminated house, playing nurse, which I don't have enough sympathy for. Stuck in the trenches of ibuprofen, antibiotics and wet coughs and runny snot, that slims you like that nickelodeon game every where.

In fact as I type this message, I hear one kid coughing on the couch and two more hacking on the monitor. I have Lysol in one hand, and am dressed in rubber gloves, a white jump suit and have my mask on my head ready to tackle the day.

Okay. Well maybe not, but in my head, it's all in my head.


  1. Where there's a sick kid, there's a nurse.
    Where there's a nurse, there's white stockings.
    Where there's white stockings, there's a horny husband.

    Be careful Florence Nightengale.
    Be very, very careful.

  2. Hi! Good luck with the sick baby! My 15 month old has been sick on and off for the past month. :( I hate winter! :)

    I'm following you from the Fun Follow Friday! I'd love for you to return the favor and follow back! :)


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