Friday, January 21, 2011

Letter to my Former Self

I saw, read and loved them movie The Time Travelers Wife. It should be mandatory for everyone to experience one time traveling moment in their life. If not to meet their love, to sit down and smack some sense into talk to their former self. This would especially be good for parents, mothers. So here is my time traveling current self, taking to my self with one child, about to embark on having a small clan, OK, I'm not the Duggers with 20 kids and counting. But 3 is trice the number of everything you would appreciate and nothing you would expect.

Dear self with one child,

Hello self.

You look so rested and skinny and calm. I bet you are taking a nap, getting you workouts done in piece or going to the grocery store or enjoying some piece and quiet. Well, get used to it because it will never happen again. *giggle*

Appreciate holding boy #1, the smiles and the laughter and all that love that comes with being a first time mom and parent. But also, appreciate one child having a temper tantrum at one time, one child getting into everything and appreciate the fact that you can still function, you can get stuff done, you can nap when he naps or at least turn on some junky tv show and waste some time. Appreciate that you can sit and eat while he eats and that you only have one request at at time for a drink refill, a snack, or one butt to wipe.

Appreciate the time with your husband. Although that still exists when you have your next two children, it dramatically changes. Getting someone to watch one child is a lot easier then feeling the burden of dumping your energetic, chaotic crazy crew on them. Nights out, which were romantic dinners, drives to the shore or night in Atlantic City, Philadelphia or where ever else we wanted to go, have now turned into napping in from on the TV, during a movie we rented while the children are fast asleep, coming up and down the steps asking questions about Christmas that just passed,what they want their birthday, that is 90 days away and how the world spins and why we don't feel it.

For the most part, boy #1, although extremely colicky those first couple months and highly energetic, he is alone, and is not egged on by any one else. Therefore, although he likes to get out and go and move and climb, he is calm in relation to the craziness you have now.  Now, son #1, screams when baby number 3 comes by and messes with his toys. Boy #1 and girl #2, 23 months apart, should probably think about adding at lest another 6 months to that, often get in wrestling matches, run around the house knocking over things, while screaming at the top of their lungs.

And just a warning, girl #2, well, she is a breed of her own, independent, carefree and talking back since that day in the hospital when she was ripped from the warm cocoon and bought into this cold hard reality that she had to compete, or so she thinks with her brother,. Although she is also extremely happy. completely fun to be around and a ray of light, she is the storm in this family that can change the atmosphere at any second. And just so you know, while you dream of the pitter patter of little feet, laughter and smiles, I just went into the bathroom, where I thought girl #2 was going to the potty and found baby #3 on standing on the toilet eating toothpaste and girl #2 painting her nails, and her face and her clothes and the floor. So,enjoy your days of one child, no matter how hectic they can be, enjoy one child screaming, one child fits in the grocery store and one butt to wipe, because it will never be the same again. It will be the best thing you have ever done mixed with the worst days have ever had.

Oh and that body that you have now, and the fact it took you 5 minutes to lose that baby weight, enjoy it and love yourself, because although you will lose the baby weight from your third child, it's a bitch to lose.

And one more thing, don't let all those points I have just discussed above make you become celibate discourage you because I know I have freaked you out with impending chaos, children that develop at warp speeds and dealing with girl#2 and baby on crack #3, you have never been happier.


Opps! Gotta go, baby #3 helped onto the kitchen table by girl#2, who raided the bathroom and is wearing my lipstick, like a clown that just appeared from one of those magic cars. And boy #1 is screaming, like a girl, because it happens to be his artwork that baby #3 is ripping apart and throwing onto the floor. Fun times.

Oh, and you will get a hold of this, or at least they say, one day. Probably, when the kids are finally married and out of the house, you and your husband, will sit down, finally. You will realize that the house is quiet, the kids have moved out, hopefully,and laugh, just when you were getting a hold of this game call parenthood.


  1. Love it! This is exactly how I feel with my three!

  2. What a lovely letter! This makes my complaining with only 2 seem silly.

    Oh, and I still haven't lost the sympathy weight from Baby #2 :-P

  3. Great post. New GFC follower from Swinging by Sunday. Thanks for hosting!



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