To the Sand man: FLIP OFF. You haven't sprinkled effective sleepy dust in my son's eyes for a couple weeks now. I don't know if he's getting what's left over from the night before or the lower grade dust you give to teething infants but we need the good stuff and pronto before mommy loses it. You deserve a double FLIP OFF.
To my cat: FLIP OFF. I know you are old, lazy and fat. But how are you're worse than the kids? When they stop whining you start! And in your old age you've become a Diva, pooping on the floor when I don't clean you liter box the minute a drop of pee hits it. And thanks to you, my husband and I have had our share of poop between our toes first thing in the morning. And why do you eat so much and follow me whining around until I top off your bowl?You better watch it or your next ride will be to the Vet.
To my stubborn baby weight: FLIP OFF. I work out, jump, run, lift squat and lunge and you hang around moving slower than an inch worm in a pile of mud. But I'll be damned if you're here in 2011!
To age 36: FLIP OFF. I know you will be here tomorrow and I will officially be closer to 30 than 40, (but still younger than my husband). FLIP OFF. FLIP OFF. FLIP OFF. You're not going to get me down with your slower metabolism and increase in gray hair. I feel good, look good and just watch in 4 years, 40 will be my best age yet. Life is good! So again..FLIP OFF!
Ahhhhhhhh.......never felt better!